On Reaching A Quarter of a Century

I just turned 25 last Sunday!

I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. The gamer in me is trying to convince me that I leveled up, or did I? Sure, I can accept that, considering I can now complete 15 Oblique V-Ups in a row from the P90x Ab Ripper workout. But apart from that, I see no other significant changes in my life. Physically? Like, wer do mucslez? Mentally? Eh, *shrugs.* Emotionally? Just the other day I got annoyed at a random guy who walked pass me. He just walked pass me and I got annoyed!

I am a kid.

One of my friends said that I’ll soon be having a quarter-life crisis. Please, I’ve been having those since I turned 15. What I want to know is what turning 25 entailed? What do other 25 year-olds do?

My mom was 21 when she married my dad who was 25.

Mom

This is a stolen shot of my mom when she was young but engaged to my dad. Sooooooo around 20 years-old?

Dad

My dad is posing on top of bundles of rice. Neat.

They got a civil wedding back then and they didn’t have me until my mom was 24.

Look at that youthful face so ready to take on the world!

Look at that youthful face so ready to take on the world!

I have a problem with that arrangement. I’m too young to get married or have kids… or both (I won’t have kids but people expect it of me; see my thoughts on having children here). I still think I’m too irresponsible and childish but at the same time I want to be treated like an adult so I can be independent. It’s easy to depend on your parents but the responsibilities of adulthood is too much for me especially the financial part of adulthood.

My parents are urging me to just get married but I keep telling them that I don’t have money for that to which they would respond to me that they too had nothing in the beginning. My dad’s running dialogue was: “When your mother and I just got started on our life we had no money and our dates would just consist of walks in the park. Our dinner would be pandesal and inside that would be our tears.” He was exaggerating of course but that’s the reality.

Now that I’m 25, am I supposed to be doing something different? Wait… I actually am doing something different.

A few months before my birthday, I had just started learning about budgeting. Every single day I would try to stick to my budget which both easy and hard. I find that if I don’t have a complete set of meals I bring to work, I was always tempted to buy from the convenience store beside our office building. They really don’t have anything healthy there and when I could not resist the call of calories, I buy. Bad news for my wallet and my nutrition.

This Friday, I can finally buy an oven! I’ve been saving for this baby for 2.5 months! My dad got our electric grill fixed, and for my birthday I asked my parents to buy me a food steamer, and finally, at the beginning of September I can start meal prepping! It is really cheaper to cook your own food as opposed to buying fast food or eating out.

Take that world! Am I adult enough for you?!

Career wise, it’s been pretty stagnant. I don’t like working at my current job anymore. I have seen very little growth in my skills and the pay is bad. I just want to go to Canada or New Zealand 😦

I promised my parents that I’d be the one responsible for paying my process fees, passport renewals, medical exams, other payments the embassy of Canada requires me to pay. I computed it and I’d need to save 65k just for that, not including the plane ticket I would need to buy once I’m approved. Also, not including the money I need to have to move to Canada (I need CA$10,000.00 which is PHP 500,000.00++).

I try not to be discouraged. Sometimes I get pumped up but most of the times you can’t help but find your circumstances bleak.

I wish I’d win the lottery.

Despite reading this post and having read just negativities and complaints, I do have things that I am thankful for.

I’m thankful to my parents and my brother for sticking with me no matter what. I may get annoyed and we may fight sometimes and may get into a lot misunderstandings but you understand that that’s just how I am and accept it. BUTTTTTTT just because I’m a working adult now doesn’t mean you can stop giving me gifts!! GIVE ME GIFTS! I AM A KID!

I’m thankful to my friends. Sam and Dean Winchester always emphasized that “Family doesn’t end with blood.” I completely agree! I consider you guys a part of my family who’ve always looked out for me and my best interest. I sometimes get too sensitive and get angry with you but then again, you forgive me because you know that’s how I am and you still kept around me.

And of course, I’m thankful to a not-so new addition to my life: my boyfriend. We may fight sometimes and have plenty of misunderstandings, and we may be far apart, but when you know, you know. Being the mean, judgmental bitch that I am, my boyfriend gives me new perspectives about different things. He is the reason my mind and my emotions are growing (I’m still emotionally childish as I’ve described above but I’m changing). He is respectful and loving and kind and I couldn’t ask for anything more. Just that we stay together as long as circumstances allow us.

You can say that even though all I do is rant all the time (as evidenced by this post and all previous posts), I’m looking forward to what being 25 might bring me. I’m trying not to worry about possibilities that haven’t happen yet ( I can’t help it ._.) but the uncertainty of the future is scary. *cue Szymborska’s Love at First Sight*

What I’m going to say is I’ll try taking more risks this time. Consequences are frightening but I don’t want to grow old thinking about what-ifs and “what could have beens.”

So 25 is the age I take risks!

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